Braaaaiiiiinnnssss

Once more I find myself pretty much bored and frustrated with my life, which I'm led to believe in this modern world is not such an unusual thing. However I wonder if my remedy for this is in line with most peoples.

More often than not I find my mind wandering to a better world; a world where the dead have risen from the grave to snack on the living ala George Romero. I have been pretty much in love with the zombie genre ever since i was fifteen when I bought the first Resident evil on the PlayStation. Having garnered a fair amount of obsessive love for this game, in an incredibly short amount of time I was lucky enough to see what would become my favourite film a week later courtesy of BBC2. The film was 'Dawn of the dead'. Ive pretty much never looked back. My obsessive DVD collection is proof of this, its just a shame that Romero is the only one that seems to get it right!

But I think this love has warped my mind because ever since then I've found myself with the same fantasy, and 'Dead Rising' on the xbox has just made matters worse!

Seriously sit down for a moment and think about it! how much easier would life be if your biggest worry was your neighbours beating down your door to munch on your face! Yes there would be no law, no order, and each day would be a struggle for survival, but there would also be no taxes, hell there would be no money. How many of your worries come down to money, or pointless shit that you want but don't really need. That Gucci handbag, or pair of Nike's; wouldn't be important. what you'd need would be purely utilitarian. A good pair of boots and a 12 gauge pump action Mosberg.

More importantly you would never have to go to work again. you wouldn't spend your precious life sitting in that cubicle all day in fear of a boss who you know is several levels below you on the intelligence scale. You'd never need to spend another morning explaining to 9 different line managers why you didn't fill out the TS report. Or manning that till station; smiling at the vacuous masses, pretending your happy to serve them while they treat you like dirt. Spending youre days wishing you could do something better, planning a way to have an adventure or improve yourself in some way. Instead you'll be surviving fighting, getting fit getting healthy, you'd have a reason to live.


I know I'm not thinking about the downsides to this your family and friends will more than likely be killed only to rise to try and kill and eat you, that's gonna mess you up I'll agree. especially when your only option will be to fill aunt Flo's face with lead or die screaming, but you'd soon get over it if you really wanted to survive.

I sometimes find myself wondering what weapons would I use, and where would I hold up if I had to? I have actually learnt where there are two shooting clubs in close proximity to me just in case, so I'll know where to get a fire arm if I need one. a good tip for you all, zoo's will generally have SPAS Shotguns on site with slugs, just in case an elephant or rhino goes ape shit.

I often find myself looking at railings while walking down the road assessing whether they would make good pikes to hold of the dead at bay; excellent for use in fortifying a building. And sometimes I view household objects with purposes they where not intended for, I think dead rising has something to do with that. I often wonder if some of those combinations would actually work?

So next time your sitting in that cubicle, thinking about how much you like to go to India to find yourself, spare a moment to think about what you would do if the dead could walk I think you'll find it a more rewarding fantasy because lets be serious, there's as much chance of that happening as there is of you actually going to India. but you can never be to careful so I'm off to duct tape a blender to a broom i gotta keep myself prepared!